THING
by Yoru no Mukou
Summary: —010. "Nagihiko? Attractive? Please, that's like calling Ikuto short. That's like calling Kukai fat. That's like calling Kairi stupid. That's like calling Yaya emo! That's like calling you—" "Okay! I get it. You no like Nagihiko, I get it!"


Ohmygod, my _tenth_ story. Wow, only ten? Mn, I know a dude who has +100, and they're HILARIOUS, anyway, this is my _tenth _fic, therefore I will dedicated it to **Travelogue, **because she is (very, very, very) odd, but this fic is _odder_! :D

**EDIT: **Dear lord_. THE GRAMMAR MISTAKES_in this fic is giving me grammar based seizures. How could I upload this? Ohmygosh. :O

* * *

**THING **

[thing]

n (plural things)

(**i. **object: an inanimate object

i.e. _What's that thing over there?_)

.

Like many days, the sun was shining, the birds singing, the fat guys were arguing over the NBA playoffs, blah, blah, blah. Typical stuff, really.

Until, I got to work that is.

When I did I was greeted by HIM. Better yet, THING. Yeah, that's right, Nagihiko aka THING.

He was so infuriating that I couldn't even call him by his name, or even acknowledge him as a human.

He was THING.

And I know that may be grammatically incorrect, as my old Japanese teacher may say, but screw it. He was so infuriating I couldn't even call him _a _THING, just THING. That suited him fine.

Where was I?

Right. _Work._

So, when I got there, I was greeted by THING. THING was so dang ugly that I suffered the tugging of my heart, which I will call a mini-heart attack.

_That_, is how ugly THING was.

Then THING did that stupid smile THING always does, that makes my face go red. But that was because I was suffering a heat stroke from how pearly whi—_yellow, _how pearly _yellow_THING's teeth were.

"Rima?" THING said, placing a hand on my forehead "Hey, are you okay? You feel warm."

"No, I am _not _alright, I am suffering a heat stroke from the yellowness of your teeth, THING."

"You know Rima, that's pretty insulting. To my people, I mean. Our name is terrible, I mean THING? Could we not have a better name? What if one of my people were talking about their child's growth. Do you realize how wrong that'll sound? 'Oh, you know my little THING? I'm so proud of it, you see it was so little, but now it's all grown up! It's HUGE, now. Makes me tear up a little.' What we'll we do then, huh?"

"You'll have someone say 'that's what she said,' then move on, THING. Now out of my way."

See? You see what I have to go through _daily_?

.

(**ii. **unspecified item: an unnamed or unspecified object

i.e. _I need a few things in town.)_

_._

My beautiful goldfish, Goldy, died. That was the 6th pet fish of mine that died. I take really good care of them. But they keep on dying. I don't know why they like to do that; but they do.

"Here's a thought, Rima," Amu said, "Why not invest your time in getting married instead of taking care of fish?"

"Shut up," I muttered. "Not all of us find freakishly fine-looking rich CEO who love them and blah, blah, blah."

"Hey, Nagihiko's pretty attractive, plus you've got history, why not try him?" She said nudging me.

I stared at her, like the pink-haired crazy person she is.

"Nagihiko? _Attractive? _Please, that's like calling Ikuto short. That's like calling Kukai fat. That's like calling Kairi stupid. That's like calling Yaya emo! That's like calling you—"

"Okay! I get it. You no like Nagihiko. God! I get it, Rima."

"Now if you'll excuse me," I got up. "I'm going to the pet store."

.

(**iii. **matter of concern: a matter of responsibility or concern

i.e_. I have several things to do_.)

.

"My goldfish are dead again," said a voice.

What a coincidence.

I stood on my tippytoes to see who was speaking. It was a guy. Big surprise there. He was quite good-looking and he was speaking to the service person.

Wait. That was Nagihiko, I mean, THING. "Do you have any fish that have a longer live span?" he asked curiously.

The service person, Takeshi, snorted."I hate to break it to you, man, but it ain't the fish. _It's you._"

THING pouted for a moment and sighed. "I miss Goldy, and Goldy the second, and Flips, and Neon, and Orange, and Puffy, and Tiger."

_…what a freak._

"How tragic." Takeshi was far from enthusiastic, though. "You should really meet this girl I know."

"Does she know how to prolong the lif -"

"She has the same luck as you do with fish." He stopped and caught me looking at them. "Oh my gosh, there she is. Hi, Rima!"

"H…hi…"

"Rima!" THING grinned.

"THING," I addressed.

"Maybe if you too invest in fish together, you can add the life spans of both and get a somewhat longer life span. Ah, it's my break. I'm out. Later."

"B-but…."

"Mn, what shall we name it, Rima?"

_…eff my life._

.

(**iv. **occurrence: something that occurs, or something that is done

i.e. _The death of our fish was a terrible thing_.)

.

So, somehow, after a weeks of fish-caring, THING and I became _friends. _

But then, _It_, the fish (we didn't know it's gender…) died, and surprisingly, we still stayed friends.

"I miss _It_," I told THING while we ate in a restaurant during our lunch break.

"Yeah, I miss_ It _too," he sighed.

"Maybe we should invest in a dog," suggested THING.

"Or a cat."

"Or maybe our own child," THING teased, rubbing my tummy.

"Or a cat," I repeated.

"Maybe we'll have twins..."

"Or a horse."

"A horse?" THING replied, surprised.

"Don't you know every little girl's dream is to own a horse?"

"Obviously not because I am of the male gender."

"You sure, _Nadeshiko_?"

"Don't try to change the subject," THING objected. "What do you say?"

"I say children out of wedlock is awkward," I replied, laughing.

"Well, I'm sure glad I have this ring in my pocket." He said, and I laughed.

"You know, you're actually pretty funny, for a THING, anyway." Yep, that's right, he's been upgraded to a THING, and occasionally Nagihiko.

"I'm serious," THING said.

I stopped laughing. _"What?"_

**.**

**WTF**, an abbreviation used when something unexpected has occurred.

_Nagihiko just asked me to marry him, and I said yes._

_WTF? _

_._

* * *

…ehem I don't know where THIS came from (it's so light, I was JUST watching Stephen's King the Mist, which is some sad shit dudes), but ENJOY it anyway, and since my PREP-FOR-EXAMS starts tomorrow, I will probably go on HIATUS. And yes, I know I abused the CAPS LOCK, and SHIFT KEY, but OH WELL.

Ha, ha.

_y.n.m _


End file.
